We're back!
Yes, it has been a hot minute since my last article of sportball slop - and trust me, it is slop - some long-suffering readers may remember me signalling my intention to cease producing slop for the last six months of the year, in order to focus on the birth of my second child.
A decision I did not regret, based on the fact that the Raiders proceeded to finish 9th in their free hit season, which I am certain made Corey Parker very happy.
The end of the regular season was capped with some heroic efforts against the Roosters and Panthers, but ultimately too little too late as Jamal Fogarty's three month spell on the sidelines didn't kill Canberra's season, but sure did make it an uphill battle, which the Green Machine eventually lost.
So the start of this season was earmarked by the pundits once again calling the Raiders to finish last, based on the club not making any significant acquisitions and shedding some significant players - Nic Cotric, Elliott Whitehead and Emre Guler, just to name a few.
There were also a couple of near-misses - both Jamal Fogarty and Big Red asked for releases, neither of which were granted and awkwardly reversed after meetings with the coach, and it must be said that Canberra Apex Raider, Josh Papalii, is probably a season or two away from retirement, if that.
However, it must be said that much of last year's poor form can be matched up to a series of unfortunate injuries. The player of the first two rounds, Zac Hosking, took a whack in the shoulder and wasn't seen back until the very tail end of the season, and there were several nickel and dime issues for key members of the playing group pretty much until round 26.
And so the lads flew to Las Vegas with low expectations.
Things only got "worse" when Hudson Young and Morgan Smithies decided to have a playfight with inflatable bats, and got busted by security. The Australian media had a field day as the pair were paraded in front of the microphones and forced to offer an apology as to why they were very naughty boys.
The lads proceeded to tell the media how they were great mates and loved rooming with each - but looking at Morgan Smithies' face told a completely different story.
The Warriors, on the other hand, had a fresh new exciting signing in James Fisher-Harris, coupled with two wins in the pre-season challenge. The crowd was also expected to be mostly Kiwis, and the stage was set for the Green Machine to receive a red ass in Vegas.
Now, to be clear, we all watched the game on Sunday. It's not a secret what happened, or a surprise anymore. But, no, it was "The Wahs" that received a red ass, as Jamal Fogarty (who is a Detroit Lions fan, don't ask me how I know that) and Kaeo Weeks, and all these ramshackle parts of last year's team clicked into high gear and delivered a merciless beating.
The Warriors' vaunted forward pack was met with equal ferocity by Joey T, Big Red, Hosko, and Huddo. And just between you and me, media pack, with the exception of Hosko, who kept getting hurt, this is the same power-packed forward group that smashed many an opposition front line into the dirt.
So Canberra's forwards won easily, helped by Andrew Webster getting blinded by the bright lights in Sin City, and only played James Fisher-Harris - you know, the exciting four-time premiership winner from Penrith - for 40 minutes.
So with an ocean of time and space, Jamal drove the bus straight through the front door, with Tom Starling screaming and playing sick tunes on his guitar, like that vehicle in Mad Max. And behind him were Kaeo Sports, X-man, Sebby and Mr. Timoko - all of whom took the Warriors to the cleaners.
Even when they didn't have the ball, the troops muscled up in defence, pushing the Warriors to make stupid decisions under pressure, resulting in more spilled lollies than the confectionery aisle in Colesworth after an earthquake.
In the post-match presser, a particularly stroppy Ricky Stuart said it best:
"It’s going to be a good competition if we come last, like a lot of you are expecting. It’s going to be a tough competition."
And, to be clear, this season feels a lot less "free hit". Personally, my expectations for the Raiders are higher than last season. A lot of players are going into their second and third season with a full pre-season under their belt, and are starting to settle into the groove.
Gus said it best in last year's season preview. They've got a good young group of forwards, it is now time at the crease. Ricky is building this next group of players, and if he can hold it together, and keep building, we're on track for a real shot in the finals - if not this year, then very soon.
That is a very big IF, though.
So we shall sit, and we shall wait, and we shall hope.
Catch you next time,
Vulkan
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