I consider myself to be the epitome of having no morals and doing anything for a dollar. So I'd like to try my hand at something every news site on earth has reported on, with no editing and no adjustment. After all some assholes think that video game journalism should just be about if the latest call of duty has tits in it! And who am I to prove them wrong.

So yesterday we had the preview event for the Playstation 5, along with several new games which look quite appealing. Lots of sequelisation (and a Demons' Souls remaster) in there for some relatively risk-free revenue and an experimental title or two. No sign of the Order 1886, which is always a plus.

But of course, it's not a video game console without a box with which to play said video games. And this box is, well, interesting:

Shamelessly ripped from another news site, google images, wherever. Shame is for other people.

Because I don't have a creative bone in my body I could never imagine making something like this. But I also don't like it terribly much. It's very fancy and scupltural - something to have in your home as a conversation starter. But it's a video game console, not a display piece. It sits under your loungeroom entertainment unit and hums along as you kill brain cells.

It'll be fine, I'm sure. Good on Sony for trying to make a post-modern console. It'll slot in at "better than the Xbox and less versatile than the Switch."

There were also promises of games - and like any lazy journalist I'll pop up the trailers of some titles I'm looking forward on the Playsculpture 5.

First up is a sequel to the excellent Horizon: Zero Dawn, which I played and enjoyed very much and even made a review (which I might've rewrote before this article. Some people with appendages on their forehead were convinced Breath of the Wild is better, but those people are wrong. As a launch title on the PS5 we now have Horizon: Forbidden West.

I loved Horizon Zero Dawn, I will love this if it is more of the same. I will probably wait until it has added the DLC on to extract maximum value for my video game dollar, however. H:FW also has the promise of underwater sections - which is a sign that there is a teensy tiny bit of innovation occuring behind the scenes. Will it pay off? Does it matter?

Next up we have Scccccchhhhhhpidaman: Miles Morales. Some of you will remember Miles as a support character in the original. Spiderman was excellent for its strong gameplay loop and reasonably likeable main cast. Again, this is a sequel so there will be more of the same. But that doesn't mean it won't be a good title.

Spiderman was a strong title, this will be two for the same reasons. They have a good combat formula that's not likely to change. The web swinging will be the same. There will be a new story and new villains but this is capeshit status quo. It'll be like being a pig in mud - old familiar ground that you will still enjoy.

There are some other titles I'm not fussed about. There's a remaster of Demons' Souls (I think already mentioned that, but I want to pad the wordcount). There's a unique souls clone entitled 'Mortal Shell'. Otherwise, I'm sure there'll be more games and bloatware lining up to participate on the new console as we progress toward the tail end of 2020.

Now we get to the least important part. Is it worth speculating on if you should buy it or not? The answer is no. Each individual must come to their own conclusions about the projected value of the console. Sony and their artstation have an obligation not to have garbage titles on their platform to attract consumers. This doesn't guarantee that every game will be good, only that there will be a selection of titles that you will love, a selection you will hate and a selection you won't care about.

As for price? Well, we don't know that as of yet, but I've heard "$5 and a mars bar" floated. Bit pricey for mine.

Thanks for helping me meet my deadline, Sony!

Catch you next time,

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